1. Change your room
2. Change who you see in the mirror
3. Change what you hear
Do you have any other tried and tested tips for turning your life around? We'd love to hear them! After all, sharing is what makes the world go around...
you can contact me at: [email protected]
A fortnight ago I talked about the benefits of sacrificing your established ‘comfort zone’ in order to see new progress in your life. That is, the idea that there are certain behaviours or attitudes that may feel normal or comfortable to you, but are actually holding you back from what it is you really seek. The process of trying to turn your life around can be a drawn out, difficult one. But following these three simple steps will make the whole process that little bit easier: 1. Change your room I’m not suggesting you need to give your room (or your office space) a complete make over, but by changing small things like the placement of the furniture, pictures hanging on the walls, removing clutter etc. all helps to give the subtle, fresh feel of a new start. If you’re eager to make the change in your life but you can’t remember the last time you reorganised/ redecorated your room, then this is the best time to do so! Going to sleep (and waking up) in an environment that looks new, helps to create the impression that your life itself is renewed. If you’re feeling really ambitious, perhaps now is the time to get around to giving the walls a fresh coat of paint, laying new carpet and decking your room out with new furniture as well? How far you want to take this one is all up to you! 2. Change who you see in the mirror New hair cut, new clothes, new exercise program- all these things play a great part in helping you to more readily believe that change has come about in your life. If you’re getting around with the same look you’ve had for years, every time you peer into the mirror you’ll see the same old person staring back at you. Again, this move doesn’t have to be an elaborate or expensive one. What is most important is building up (on a subconscious level) the impression that you, yourself are renewed, different from the person you used to be- make your outward appearance a reflection of the rejuvenation coming from within. Looking into the mirror, instead of seeing that same person with the same old life story as has been the case for years, instead you see a new, more improved you. This serves as a great form of encouragement to keep growing, expansing and learning, to keep pursuing that ultimate goal you have in mind. Not only do you begin to feel more like the person you want to become- you begin to physically resemble that person too. Furthermore, doing this is a great confidence boost! In this instance, spoiling yourself a little could be just the thing you need… 3. Change what you hear Perhaps you’re accustomed to making the commute (if you travel to work) with just your preferred radio station on, or you have those old favourite playlists you like to listen to of a morning? There’s nothing wrong with doing this as such, but in the process of working at turning your life around, there are going to be struggles. There will be difficult days, stressful situations, times where you wonder if it’s better to just sit down and wave the white flag. Searching the vast internet database for some great work-out or motivational playlists can be the perfect thing to have in your ear as you go about each day. Spoken tracks are even better because the more you listen to them, the more your subconscious will memorise entire sentences and passages. Believe me, you’ll be surprised at the moments when your mind randomly has a flash back to these! All the same, remembering just a few great passages or quotes can be exactly the boost you need when you find yourself in a moment of despair or a ‘rut’.
Do you have any other tried and tested tips for turning your life around? We'd love to hear them! After all, sharing is what makes the world go around...
0 Comments
Just recently I have been chatting with a business partner of mine about businesses identifying their target market and marketing themselves accordingly. When you’re doing this well, marketing feels like a worthwhile process you engage in with confidence about what you are doing and how you are doing it. This confidence is reflected in the results it draws for your business.
If you aren’t getting the results you want through marketing, however, then the feeling can be akin to finding yourself in a country where you speak (or understand) only a little of the dialogue- you’re so consumed with finding people who will simply understand you (let alone want to engage with you) that you don’t know where to direct your energies- this leads to fatigue (both emotionally and physically) and the burden of feeling like your only two options are a) Keep doing what you are doing, waiting to discover the ‘right’ formula for your business or b) Throw your hands in the air, stay right where you are- and fade into obscurity. Sometimes the one message we need to hear is sweet- and simple! Sean Smith manages to do both here, with his excellent article: http://www.copyblogger.com/smaller-target/ Have any other great tips that have saved you sleep, sense of direction and sanity? Share them with us! “You have to be able, at any moment, to sacrifice what you are, for what you will become.” The above quote is an excerpt from a motivational playlist I downloaded a while ago. It’s a spoken track that sinks into my subconscious the more I listen to the playlist. Then I’ll encounter a situation in my daily life that causes a line or two from one of these passages to flash back and I’ll think “How true it is!” Lately, the above quote has kept on playing over in my mind, especially when I’ve been faced with difficulties or frustrations that I never used to encounter in my old life (I will get to that in a moment). I flash back to the opening line of this article because it’s true: It is a sacrifice, at times. But in my own experience, it’s truly worth the cost…
In my “comfortable” past life, I was an employee. While I liked the people I worked with and the job itself wasn’t so bad, I only worked for the pay. I had no greater ambition to rise up through the ranks in my job. I did what was required of me day in, day out from 6:30 in the morning until 3:30 in the afternoon and then made the short commute home. The end. My weekends would generally entail looking for fun ways to spend that precious free time with friends while doing the best I could to ignore the recurring 5 day stint at work looming the other side of Sunday. It wasn’t that I lacked ambition or a vision. I knew I wanted to go into business for myself. I knew of the projects I wanted to get involved in. I knew how I wanted my life to be, ultimately. I just didn’t know how to start. Starting itself would equate to so much discomfort and confusion- would I even know what I was doing or would I fail? Merely thinking about all the things I’d need to learn, do and undertake just to make a start, would leave me feeling overwhelmed and disoriented. So instead I continually looked for distractions to take my attention away from those feelings of discomfort. But this only allowed negative side-effects to creep into my life: I had poor self-discipline, no time management and I was more interested in chasing easy thrills to continue ‘helping’ me avoid the problems associated with change, than making the time-consuming choices that would lay foundations for the life I really wanted. The more I tried to remain in my comfort zone, the more disoriented and disconnected I began to feel about life. I lived in a state of cognitive dissonance, caught between living my life as it actually was, and imagining my life as I wanted it to be. The turning point It took a trip overseas to finally convince me to make the leap. While abroad, I thought about what was going to happen when this holiday was over: I was going back to my regular job, back to thinking about a brighter future that I wanted to happen “someday soon”. It took a few weeks on the other side of the world to realise how aimless, bland and underwhelming my life had become at 26. I had two choices: I could stay in my current job and continue thinking about the life/ career I wanted- or I could start pursuing it now! Upon returning home, I ceased working at my old job within a month. Then I found out about NEIS (New Enterprise Incentive Scheme) and began compiling all the documentation I needed to apply. I enrolled in a copywriting course that gave me lots of valuable tips in preparation for my pending career change. I took the time out to listen through the ‘Time of your life’ 10 part series by motivational speaker/ author Anthony Robbins- a series I highly recommend for anybody eager to learn about effective time management and goal setting not just for their career, but their life as a whole. It was just these small steps that, bit by bit, led to something bigger- a steady (and noticeable) change in my life as a whole. Before I knew it I was crunching important tasks I’d been putting off beforehand, planning my weeks out, managing my time productively and genuinely feeling up-beat, positive and enthusiastic about all the changes taking place in my life. I successfully completed the NEIS course just before Christmas and it ended one of the best years of my life to date. In only a couple of years since, so much has changed- mostly for the better. Between the new people I’ve met, the projects I’ve become involved in, the new skills I’ve learned and the ideas I’m continually becoming aware of- my life has changed to the point that I feel like the person I am and the life I’m living only bears a vague resemblance to myself 5 years ago. Even so, sometimes I’ll get caught up in old attitudes or mindsets- if I go with the flow and carry on as usual, it feels comfortable and ‘normal’. Remembering what I really want and making the effort to snap out of those lingering attitudes or habits can be difficult- to the point where I sometimes feel as if it’s too hard to change- but I do my best to remember that the short-term comfort is worth sacrificing for my long-term visions. Perhaps you’re reading this and you’ve thought of an aspect of your life that is ‘comfortable’ and ‘normal’ for you- it could be connected with your job (if you work for somebody else) your business (if you work for yourself), it could be tied in with your family, health, relationships, attitudes, finances- nearly anything you think, do or feel with any consistency. Maybe, despite how ‘comfortable’ it feels, you realise the truth- that there need to be sacrifices made in order to move closer to that bigger, grander picture you dream of. Just making the start can feel like such a jolting, stressful, mentally draining hassle, I know. Yet in the space of only three years, I look back at everything that has changed in my life and within myself in that short period of time, and whenever I stop to think about it I am so grateful I made the decision to sacrifice so much of what felt normal or comfortable to me- because had I not made that decision and the effort, my life right now would be so much less than what it’s become. There will be sacrifices to make and difficult changes to endure. There will be times where the ends feel disproportionately small compared to the means. Making whatever changes you need to make can feel so unreasonably difficult at times. Yet I still encourage you: Decide on what you want, make the decision to seek after it, and always decide in favour of your dreams, even if it means sacrificing comfort. Because I know first-hand that sacrificing what you are, is well worth it when compared to what you will become… Just recently, I read an article from Rossco Paddison about the different types of people you meet networking:
http://www.rosscopaddison.com/8-types-of-networkers/ I smiled to myself as I read it and reflected on my own experiences across a range of business networking meetings- the breakfasts, luncheons or evening events, the people I have come into contact with, the guests I’ve seen speak, the audience participation activities, the great ideas that have been shared with me right when I least expected it that made the whole event worth the time/ money- so many times I have left a networking event with new contacts, business cards, opportunities or ideas that have filled me with such a buzz of gratitude and relief that I turned up! Yet there have been other occasions where I’ve left a networking event and wondered if I should have just stayed home? Either I met no new contacts or felt like the only person in the room who wasn’t already tight with least 3 people there. As a result I’d feel like an interloper, watching on as people closed ranks and chatted in their comfortable circles. “You’re a business person?” I’d think to myself as I stood there. “You can’t even go up and talk to these people- who are you kidding?” But faced with a room full of strangers who all (on the surface) are completely engrossed in chatter, it’s a daunting prospect to just go up, poke your head in and interject uninvited- then try and establish some kind of a professional relationship with those people. I’m not even somebody who dreads networking or public speaking- if the person speaking at an event handed me the microphone and told me to ad lib for 5 minutes straight, I’d step up without it feeling like that dream where you turn up to school naked! Yet even for myself, the idea of starting on the back-foot as a stranger interrupting a pleasant conversation between friends or colleagues, could make me feel like I was 13 again and at the school social. I’m watching the pretty girls on the floor and I would love to dance with them, but the thought of going directly up to them and asking paralyses me with fear. “What if she turns me down? Everybody will see me get rejected and laugh!” Except the modern equivalent is: “What if these people are so offended by my interjecting that my name and reputation is tarnished forever and people won’t want to connect with me because they think I’m naturally rude/ pushy?” Networking is vital for your business, whether you love it, tolerate it or dread it. If you’re in the first group then chances are that at least one of the following three points is already second nature to you- in which case, well done! If you fall into the other two categories (or you’re always scouting for new tips/ ideas) read on as I share with you the 3 biggest things I’ve learnt that make the most difference to my success (and enjoyment) of networking events, big or small: 1) Relax. Networking is an investment, not an instant sell. There’s no need to do the hard-sell. Soon enough, the people you speak to will know who you are and what it is you do. They may even realise within a minute of talking that somebody with your abilities or contacts, is exactly the person they hoped to meet. The beauty of networking events is that it gives you the chance to put a face and a personal identity to your business- even if the person in question doesn’t have a job for you right now, if they remember what your specialty is and they enjoy talking to YOU (the person, not the salesperson) there is always the chance that they will seek to include you in their plans or projects at a future date. 2) Relax. This is not a job interview- so don’t dress like it is. Sure, many people “suit up” for their job, but if you’re not one to don business attire of a daily basis in your professional life, don’t suddenly feel the pressure to do so because you’re going to a networking event. While being neatly presented (clean teeth, nails, hair, shoes etc.) should still be on your checklist before heading to an event, don’t be afraid to bring your own individual sense of flair or taste when it comes to dressing for the occasion. I was recently talking to a business partner of mine, and she observed how people often change their behaviour when they “suit up”. It’s as if there’s an invisible, external behavioural standard that comes into play just from changing their wardrobe! Provided your appearance is tidy and your clothes are clean, don’t be afraid to stand out from the crowd if that’s what feels natural for you. Not only will you feel more composed and relaxed on a subconscious level, but daring to show your individuality in a crowded room could be just the thing that makes people notice you- and want to introduce themselves! 3) Relax. Listening is just as important as speaking. It can be easy to overthink, to worry about saying the “right” thing or perfecting your “spiel”. While it’s a great idea to prepare how you “sell” your product or expertise, remember that listening to the other person is just as important. Take note of as much information as you can while other people are speaking to you at an event. Perhaps there’s something about their business that you are just the person to help them with and they haven’t realised it? You may go on to suggest working with that person and the offer may not go any further than mere talk, but at least that person will go away feeling as if you actually listened to them, as opposed to just doing the “hard sell” and viewing them as another potential sale without bothering to listen to them or try and understand their business. Most importantly, avoid the temptation of feeling like a failure if you leave a networking event without signing anybody up/ selling your wares/ selling your services. Focus most of all on establishing and maintaining relationships. Relationships are one commodity that every single person depends on, whether professional or personal. No man (or woman) is an island. Even if the people you speak to have no need for your services or your products, there’s every chance they will know somebody who does- and why wouldn’t they recommend an intelligent, understanding person like yourself? They will give you a glowing recommendation because while you didn’t successfully sell your business to them, you sold YOURSELF. All your success as a networking business person follows on from that point alone. Get this right, relax, and the seeds you sow will begin to grow! Do you have any other great tips that have worked for you? Feel free to share them in the comments section! |
Ben MackieBen is the founder of Scribe Copywriting. Archives
August 2016
|