Yet as much as I would’ve loved to have a big layout like the ones I’d seen in my long life-time up to that point, I also knew it was beyond my reach. I was too young, I didn’t have enough space and I also knew that to build a big layout with lots of trains running on it required something I didn’t have- money.
Just thinking of that felt unusually bittersweet. I had the best ideas for how I’d design my layout- the landscape features I’d craft, the impressive structures I’d build, the tracks I’d nail down, the intricate little details I’d include. But that vision was out of my reach. I wouldn’t get it for my birthday and it wouldn’t be under the Christmas tree. Nether did I expect Mum and Dad to give it to me- not for one moment did I think that.
But then, sitting in the back seat of Dad’s car, it occurred to me:
There was nothing anybody had ever said or I had ever read, seen, heard or experienced that had told me I could never have what I wanted.
Like the sun peeping up from the edge of the horizon as day breaks, the shadow of unmet desire vanished from this new dawning of revelation. Nothing suggested my current situation would always be the case. So with that in mind….why not decide? Decide that one day, I would have what I needed- be it space, money or maturity- to design, build and take pride in this awesome layout I dreamed of!
So I decided then and there, that although I didn’t know when it would happen, that it would happen. I suddenly couldn’t wait to get home, and when I did, I sat down by the coffee table in our living room, scrapbook in front of me, and drew scenes of grand bridges, trains disappearing into tunnels through mountains, big multi-platform stations- all the things I wanted to feature on my big layout one day.
25 years later and I’ve got engines and books on model layout construction and scenery and project plans for my grand layout from buying the required timber and nails for the table, to cracking open that first beer and admiring my creation once the entire thing is complete. I’ve drawn and revised/ updated the layout plan more times over the years than I can count! However that ultimate goal still hasn’t been reached- yet.
But there is another decision I made, much more recently, and the results of it have already begun to manifest in my life in so many ways. Although you’ll have to wait until next time for me to share it with you. Hopefully, just from sharing this story something new will become apparent. Or maybe something you’d forgotten has been awakened in you? Just wait until my next post, and all will be revealed…